We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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