I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
