PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
