My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
