You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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