The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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