I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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