glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
