I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
