Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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