i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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