I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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