she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
