U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
