I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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