I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN