I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear