You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"