Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"