Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.