It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets