just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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