Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
