I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
