you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
