Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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