Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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