I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
