it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
