Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
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Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So much Jack, so little girl.
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Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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