did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize