dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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