i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
