somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
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I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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