the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
