Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
