I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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