I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
