I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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