Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
