The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
