I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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