haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
