They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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