if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
