Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
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Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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