Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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