yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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