ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
