babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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