I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
