I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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