Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
