Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
