These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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