Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
