Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
