the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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