You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
