yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
