i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
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I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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