I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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