Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
