on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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