Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
