Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
id be glad to
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
