Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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