i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My breasts were aching with rage.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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