Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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