So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
